New Beginnings Blog

Information Regarding Pregnancy and Adoption

Thanksgiving Thoughts About Adoption

by Tom on November 24, 2010

  1.      I’m thankful that Jesus Christ adopted me into His kingdom when I was nine years old.
  2.      I’m thankful that I was raised in an intact, two-parent household by my natural parents. Part of my motivation and endurance as it relates to my work with New Beginnings comes from the belief that every child deserves to have what I had. Loving grandparents, loving parents, and a loving family. No…they weren’t perfect and I’ve never said they were. But, they were THERE.
  3.      I’m thankful that Mom and Dad were married for over 51 years and that only death could separate them. Did they ever fight? You can’t imagine–and I smile when saying that. But, they taught us that you work things out and grow through the process.
  4.      I’m thankful that Dad and Mom stood up for their three kids when we messed up. And, when we did, “it was our fault.” We were never allowed to blame someone else, ask for a handout from the government or whine about life being unfair.
  5.     I’m thankful for two beautiful daughters and two wonderful grand-children…all the byproduct of adoption.
  6.     I’m thankful for the pastors, men of God, who have stepped on my toes through the years. They’re simply doing their job.
  7.     I’m thankful a great team of workers at New Beginnings. Everyone truly cares about birth mothers, babies and the value of human life.
  8.     I’m thankful for the models of manhood that I witnessed in my grandfathers, father and uncles. They were/are honest, hard-working and God-fearing.
  9.     I’m thankful that New Beginnings is supported by so many great people who care about the values of family, human life and caring for others.
  10.     I’m thankful, in advance, for someone who is listening to God’s voice and who will help bless the adoption ministry of New Beginnings…and others like us in America.

Tom Velie, LMSW

President

The Answer to the Question: “Why adopt internationally when there are children here who need homes?”

by Renae on September 21, 2010

We hear of adoptive couples who want to add to their families through international adoption.  And some of us think its great and a wonderful thing.  We encourage them and help them and then love their children once they come home.  And then some of us don’t think it’s such a good thing.  If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone ask the question, “Why do people adopt kids from overseas when there are so many kids here who need homes?”…then I’d be rich.  I see a need to tell people why.

There are children in the U.S. that need homes, true.  There are approximately 600,000 children in the U.S. foster care system currently, and by and large, most of these children aren’t readily available for adoption.  Most of the children that are adoptable are older and adopting an older child is not always the best option for some families (depending on the family dynamics).  As far as infants in the U.S., there are families upon families waiting to adopt an infant.  Internationally, there are approximately 143 million orphans in the world, a great number of which are in orphanages in third world countries.  For those children that aren’t adopted, the statistics for those that end up in prison, prostitution, committing suicide, etc. are pretty disheartening.  The fact of the matter is, there is a great need for adoptive families of children worldwide.  It is not a selfish thing to pursue adoption of a child internationally.  It’s a way to meet a desire for a family to have a child, as well as meeting a desperate need for a child.  In international adoption, there are millions of children waiting on families.  For most domestic adoptions (aside from foster care) there are families waiting on children.

One argument of those against international adoption is that we need to focus on our own country’s people and problems.  Yes, America has it’s own problems.  We have people living in poverty.  We have children in need.  Our government is not perfect.  And we are Americans, so we have the responsibility to be faithful to our country and to help our fellow citizens in any way possible.  But let us not forget that we are also humans.  And so is the rest of the world population.  Including the children sitting in orphanages right now who, apart from adoption, have a pretty bleak future.  America, as such a rich and blessed nation in comparison to so many others, is in a prime position to help these children.  There are 26,000 children who die each day from starvation or preventable diseases, many of which are orphans.  I can’t ignore that statistic.  I love my country very much and I love the children in my country and will do anything I can to ensure that they are being advocated for and cared for.  But I also love the human race…and I can’t ignore the need for adoption among so many children in other parts of the world.  And quite frankly, most of the people I hear downing those who adopt internationally instead of domestically aren’t doing anything to help the plight of children in need in America.

I’m an advocate for adoption and children.  I love both.  And I think that it’s imperative that people be aware of the facts about both.  I encourage people to do their research before making blanket statements about why people should adopt domestically instead of internationally.  If you’d like to live in ignorance of the needs of children, not only in America, but worldwide, then go ahead and pretend the problems don’t exist.  Pretend that 26,000 lives aren’t lost daily…lives that had barely begun to live and lives that could have been saved.  Pretend that you’re only American and not human, so its okay to only help Americans and not the rest of the human race.  Pretend that a child is less worthy of love and care just because he or she was born in a third world country instead of America.  Pretend that if we ignore these problems that they’ll go away.  Or better yet, say they’re someone else’s problems.  If you don’t want to be a part of the solution, then that’s your choice.  But whatever you do, please don’t belittle those people who are choosing to be a part of the solution by, not just supporting orphans financially or praying for them or visiting them, but who are taking them into their homes to love and cherish as their own child.  And not simply for the sake of rescuing them in and of itself, but because they want these children…they want them.  If a child is born in Tennessee or Tanzania, Mississippi or Mongolia, a child is a child is a child.  Please don’t speak out against those who want these orphans.  Speak out on behalf of the orphan instead.

Need for Prayer

by Renae on September 21, 2010

Families who have been matched with children in Nepal (approximately 80) are waiting indefinitely for the Embassy to process their cases in hopes that their children will be able to be united with them soon.  However, there is no guarantee this will happen for these families, and sadly, for these children.  For many of the children, adoption might be their big chance to escape the life of growing up in an orphanage and then having to learn to care for and provide for themselves once they become too old to live in the orphanage (mid-teenage age).  We are asking for prayer on behalf of these children and adoptive families.  What is impossible with man is possible with God.

Adoption v. Sex Trafficking – Who Wins and Who Loses?

by Tom on September 7, 2010

     Adoption v. Sex trafficking. While there are those who intentionally, or perhaps ignorantly, equate international adoption with some form of trafficking, let me remind you of the reality of hopelessness.

     A very young child is abandoned by his or her parents. Why? Perhaps they have several other children and there is no room for one more child in their home. Perhaps a young mother living in poverty believes that by sacrificing her own emotions, her baby will at least receive food and protection…and will not become another statistic on the street.

     The child is placed into an orphanage that sustains itself on small donations and the goodness of others. The donors feel good about their giving, and the young child is fed, clothed and cared for with “the hope” that something better will happen in life.

     What is the end result when individuals, systems and governments forget that a child’s sense of time is so much different than an adults sense of time? To a seven year old child, seven years is a lifetime. What does it feel like to reach the age of fourteen and to have never met your parents? What does it feel like to reach those teenage years…the years when social relationships, soccer games, and parties are the norm to some of us…and to know that you’ll soon be living on the street and begging…or selling yourself…to live? Can you imagine the feelings? I can’t.

     International adoption offers hope to the children. Yes, there area handful of tragic stories related to international adoption that instantly become fodder for news organizations. Yet all the while, the same organizations ignore the hundreds of thousands of children whose lives have been forever changed for the good by international adoption. These children have more than hope…they have success…they have moms and dads…they have children of their own…they have fulfilling jobs…and some return the favor to the children who are left behind.

     But why are they left behind? When there are hundreds of thousands (actually, the number is estimated at 139 million) orphans in the world, and when birth parents are not searching for them, and when no one really cares about them, then why do the systems and governments seem so determined to forever incarcerate the children in the grave of hopelessness? Is is so someone can continue raising funds to “support the homeless?” Is it so some huge, worldwide non-profit organization can portray itself as the savior of the masses of children from trafficking. Yes, trafficking is the word sometimes used to portray adoption agencies and adoptive parents as the vultures who will swoop in to prey on the innocent.

    But who is actually “preying” on the innocent? Who is shutting down the systems and providing nothing but a future of hopelessness to orphans around the world.

     Please call your U.S. Senators and Representatives and ask “Why are the numbers of children being adopted internationally dropping so rapidly? And…what are you going to do about it?”

     The link (very short article) highlights the long-term problem with children being left in orphanages in Nepal. Nepali children “age out” of the orphanages around 14 years of age and many are prostituted in some form. I haven’t heard the 20,000 figure related to the number of girls involved in the sex trade in Kathmandu, but I do know that the men on our last trip to Nepal were offered that type of thing many times each day.

http://www.cathnewsindia.com/2010/09/06/sex-trafficking-in-nepal-drags-in-more-victims/

UNICEF – Nepal

by Tom on August 25, 2010

     According to UNICEF, there are 990,000 orphaned children in Nepal. But, for the two N.B. adoptive families who are in Nepal and praying to come home with the precious children, only two children “count” today. Thank you for praying for all of the American families who are in Nepal, who have been matched with orphaned children, and those who “unmatched” continue to believe that God called them to adopt from Nepal.

Nepal Adoptions Suspended – August 11th, 2010

by Tom on August 15, 2010

     New Beginnings is no longer accepting applications for the Nepal adoption program. For all “abandonment cases,” with the exception of those that are already in “the pipeline,” the U.S. State Department suspended adoptions on August 6th, 2010. The State Department stated that the pipeline cases would continue to be processed in the same memo.

Adoptive families in “pipeline” cases were provided with additional information about travel late in the day on August 11th.

For more information, please visit http://adoption.state.gov/news/nepalalerts.html

Katie’s Choice

by Renae on July 23, 2010

Katie is 18 years old. She’s in high school, and she’s a straight-A student. She’s involved in several clubs in her school, and she’s the Senior Class President. Katie is well-known and well-loved by all who know her. And she’s also pregnant. Or she was, rather.

When Katie started experiencing several symptoms of pregnancy, she tried to brush the nagging thoughts aside that she just might be. She thought that could never happen to someone like her. Just to prove to herself that she wasn’t pregnant, just to get rid of those nagging thoughts, just to sleep a little better at night, she decided to take a home pregnancy test. Not because she thought she was pregnant…of course not. She just wanted to prove she wasn’t. But when two pink lines appeared on her pregnancy test, she was shocked. Something had to be wrong with the test. So she decided to go a more reliable route to find out that she wasn’t really pregnant. She went to the local Sav-A-Life and got a pregnancy test, which also tested positive. Right there in the Sav-A-Life office, right in front of the counselor she was meeting with, she lost it. Katie cried until she didn’t have any tears left. And then she listened to her counselor, who began calmly discussing her options with her. The counselor mentioned that Katie might want to consider taking the Options class offered by the Genesis program with New Beginnings. Katie agreed that it sounded like a good idea, and together she and her counselor called the Genesis director to plan a time to meet.

Calmed down and finding an ounce of hope in her soul, Katie left the Sav-A-Life that day. But the longer the day wore on, the more scared she got. She couldn’t think about carrying this baby to term. What would everyone think? How would she cope? How much would her life change? Desperate, Katie began planning an abortion. She called the abortion clinic and scheduled an appointment in a week. Meanwhile, she skipped her follow up appointment at the Sav-A-Life and her Genesis appointment. She ignored the phone calls from her counselor and from the Genesis director. Guilt knawed at her insides, but she pushed it away.

A week later, Katie walked out of the abortion clinic. She thought she would feel relieved, but she felt hollow instead. She walked to her car, climbed in, and put her head on the steering wheel before she burst into tears.

Desperation drives a person to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Another girl, another teen pregnancy, leading to another desperate choice. One more baby who won’t know what it is to live and laugh and love. This is our fight…not against, but for girls like Katie who are hurting, broken, and desperate. They need to know they’re not alone, and they need to know that death for their child is not the only way out. That’s what we’re here for. By God’s grace, to join in the effort to rescue unborn children and to rescue girls like Katie from making choices they will regret and grieve for a lifetime.

Nepal Adoptions

by Tom on July 22, 2010

We appreciate the leadership role that has been undertaken by the U.S. State Department and Special Ambassador, Susan Jacobs in regard to Nepali adoptions. With numerous rumors and accusations about Nepali adoptions (some probably true and some probably false), the commitment of Secretary Hillary Clinton and Ambassador Jacobs to promote more ethical adoption practices in any country is encouraging.

For the most up-to-date information on Nepal adoption, please visit U.S. State Department-Nepal adoption

Regarding the 7/20/2010 State Department Conference call on Nepal adoptions, please visit  StateCall.

Good Quotes

by Renae on July 9, 2010

Here are some really good quotes I ran across about children on Compassion International’s website:

“Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate.” -Anonymous

“You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way.” -Barbara Bush

“An aware parent loves all children he or she interacts with  for you are a caretaker for those moments in time.” -Doc Childre

“The soul is healed by being with children.” -English proverb

“Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.” -Lady Bird Johnson

“Children are our most valuable natural resource.”-Herbert Hoover

“Why is it that a child’s death amounts to a tragedy, but the death of millions is merely a statistic?” -Patrick McDonald

“Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.” -Mignon McLaughlin

“If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God!” -Dwight L. Moody

“Let us be the ones who say we do not accept that a child dies every three seconds simply because he does not have the drugs you and I have. Let us be the ones to say we are not satisfied that your place of birth determines your right to life. Let us be outraged, let us be loud, let us be bold.” -Brad Pitt

Assemblies of the Lord Jesus Christ (ALJC) believes in HOPE for the unborn

by Tom on June 24, 2010

While some church organizations waiver on the issue of abortion, we commend the ALJC and its General Superintendent, Pastor Robert Martin, for proclaiming that all human life is sacred in their Articles of Faith. By taking a firm stand on the value of every human life, the ALJC movement sets itself apart in Christiandom.

Have you considered the fact that the Lord refers to King David being a man “after God’s own heart,” in relation to the fact that David believed that human life was absolutely sacred in God’s eyes? (Psalm 139).

Where do  you stand? Are you afraid of stating that “life begins at the moment of conception?” Think about it…