Archive for the ‘BirthMothers’ Category

Wicker Honors Debbie Velie as an “Angel in Adoption”

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Washington, DC – Senator Roger Wicker (R-Miss.) last week recognized Debbie Velie of Tupelo as a 2011 “Angels in Adoption” award winner for her advocacy of adoption issues.

“Debbie became an adoptive parent some years ago, opening her home to two children from Korea,” said Wicker.  “As a licensed social worker who received her training at the University of Mississippi, she has helped other families going through the adoption process.  Debbie continues to make a tremendous difference in the lives of hundreds children by serving as an adoption counselor, trainer, and advocate in Tupelo.”

Currently, Debbie is the Domestic Program Director of New Beginnings International Children’s & Family Services, Inc., an adoption agency located in Tupelo, where she has provided guidance and support to adoptive couples and birthmothers since 1992.  Since 2003, Debbie also has served as a Master Trainer for Infant Adoption Awareness Training Program for the National Council for Adoption, a national, nonprofit advocacy and information group.

“It was a tremendous honor to receive this award,” said Debbie.  “I believe that every child deserves a forever family, and we are very appreciative for Senator Wicker”s support for adoption issues.”

The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI), which sponsors the “Angel in Adoption” program, is a 501(c)3 nonpartisan organization dedicated to raising awareness about the tens of thousands of orphans and foster children in the United States and the millions of orphans around the world in need of permanent, safe, and loving homes through adoption. CCAI’s goal is the elimination of the barriers that hinder these children from realizing their basic right of a family.

A photo of Senator Wicker and Debbie Velie follows.

Written by a Teenage Birth Mother

Sunday, October 16th, 2011

Written by a Teenage Birth Mother

I had a secret that I knew, for a time, I must hide
A treasure I hugged to me, buried deep inside.
I knew I couldn’t hide it for terribly long,
but I wanted to delay hearing, my joy was wrong.

But I stood up for us when I might’ve ran,
And hoped we’d be treated with a kind hand.
There were some who wanted to, but couldn’t;
Then ones that could but thought they shouldn’t.

So I went out on my own and gave it my best,
I worked and worked with very little rest.
I paid my rent, and bought my food,
And went to the doctor just like I should.

I was a child in a harsh world and so naive
I was such an innocent and I believed
I could raise this child of my body and heart
That nothing could happen to keep us apart.

Then I felt the flutter of my joy and I would sing
To him of love and ponies and other sweet things.
He sang to my soul too in a whispery voice
And that’s when I started to question my choice.

My heart burned with love, fear and shame
As I thought all I could give him was love and a name.
I wanted a life for him I knew I couldn’t give
I wanted a chance for him to honestly live.

Ignoring my heart’s screams, I signed on the line,
patting his butt in my tummy, saying it’s going to be fine.
I continued to sing to him though it was bittersweet,
But hoped it would help him remember me, until we meet.

It was harder than what I imagine death could be,
Trying to remember he was someone else’s baby,
I wasn’t allowed to touch or hold him when he was born,
And my heart cracked and bled as I cried and mourned.

I thought I was a bad mom and selfish to miss him so,
That my reasons were sound and I should let him go.
So I squared my shoulders and I went on
Though I never forgot or stopped loving my son.

Cathy Kerns, © 1982
Original Post: http://adoption.about.com/od/adoptionpoems/a/Adoption-Poem-by-Teen-Birth-Mother.htm

Nadia Link’s Journey is a Family’s Reward

Sunday, October 16th, 2011

Nadia Link found out she was pregnant shortly after graduating from Walnut HS in 2008. She lost her scholarship to UC Irvine, but after giving birth to daughter Adrianna, Link has found her way back.

LONG BEACH — If the grind ever seems too tough, the swirl of responsibilities too dizzying, Nadia Link needs only a peek at the inside of her right arm to find the strength to keep pushing.

It’s tattooed in stately script, just below her biceps: “Adrianna”

Long Beach State’s star forward has overcome some terrific obstacles since learning three years ago, shortly after graduating from Walnut High School (Walnut), that she was pregnant. It sent her down a difficult and at times shrouded path while costing her a UC Irvine scholarship, destroying her relationship with her family, and forcing her to live, for a short stretch, in her car.

That path has led to unexpected reward, on and off the soccer field. Link, following two years of hard work to regain her fitness and form, has emerged as one of the deadliest attackers in the college game, with 12 goals and eight assists to lead the 49ers to a 10-3-1 record and a No. 22 ranking in the National Soccer Coaches Association of America’s Division I poll.

It led to last week’s call-up to the U.S. under-23 national team’s camp at Home Depot Center — Link was most impressive, reports say — and All-American buzz for the 5-foot-6 junior.

She has grown up, is getting good grades (while juggling 17 units) and has a plan for the future (nursing and law) and has watched as her family has come together, healed deep wounds and built a connection that had never before existed.

All of it is about Adrianna, her daughter, who will be 3 in January.

“It was very difficult,” Link, 21, says. “I had to do a lot on my own and be really strong, but my outlook is I’m like a freight train now. Any time I ever feel like maybe I should quit, I just look at her, and I find there’s no way I can.”

NINE HARD MONTHS

Link, a Rowland Heights native, learned she was pregnant right after her June 2008 graduation from Walnut. She told her mother after accompanying her on a stroll.

“I was figuring something was wrong,” Nelia Mendoza says. “We went home, and it was just her and me, and she says, ‘Ma, I want to tell you something.’ She was already in tears. I had a feeling, a mother’s instinct.

“ ‘What, are you pregnant?’ That just came out, like that. And she cried. And I screamed, and I cried so hard.”

Nadia and her “very traditional” family are devout Catholics, and the news threatened to tear a rift through them. Her father, Nicholas Link, calls it “a very tough time, very tough time.”

“It was very, very hard on all of us …” he says. “We all anticipated she would go on to school and play soccer, and when we heard she’s pregnant, it was very hard on all of us. She didn’t know what she was going to do. We didn’t know what we were going to do.”

Nadia, whose ancestry is Russian and Filipino, didn’t know whether to keep the baby, to have it and put it up for adoption or to end the pregnancy.

“It was a very strong battle morally for me, because I’m very religious,” she says. “I have a lot of faith.”

Nadia was asked to leave.

“At first, they pretty much disowned me …” she says. “It wasn’t my decision [to leave], but it was probably for the best at the time.”

She moved in with her boyfriend — the father of the baby — but that didn’t last long, and soon they were living in a car parked at a gas station. A move to his sister’s in Alhambra followed, and when that became untenable, she made a phone call.

“I called my mom,” Nadia says, “and I was like, ‘Mom, I have nowhere else. Please?’ And, of course, being a mother, she couldn’t say no.”

Mendoza had quietly been keeping tabs on her daughter, mostly through friends, and fretting over her prenatal care and schooling. Clearly, there are regrets about asking Nadia to leave the house, and Mendoza says she has asked for no detail from the time living in the car “because it’s hurting us.”

Asked about regrets, Mendoza pause for a moment.

“I was thinking about that,” she finally says. “But at the same time, maybe it’s good, because she understood how hard it is. [In high school] she has her own car, has her own room, is buying stuff, doesn’t have to work.”

The experience, Mendoza says, provided lessons that can’t be easily taught.

“You realize that [life is] hard. You realize it’s really hard,” she says. “Sometimes I look back: Should I not have left her? But sometimes you have to experience the life, how it is outside.”

A FUTURE IN SOCCER

Nadia Link had been looking forward to life after high school. She was a soccer stud, had grown up in big clubs (Alta Loma’s Arsenal and then Orange County giants So Cal Blues and Slammers), starred at Walnut High (a three-time All-CIF selection and two-time San Gabriel Valley Tribune Player of the Year) and won a scholarship to burgeoning power UC Irvine, one of the region’s top academic schools.

The pregnancy altered her course. Her focus moved to natal care (Medi-Cal took care of things) and trying to survive away from home (she worked in fast food and as a secretary). And she gave up on the idea of going to UC Irvine, instead enrolling at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut, the state’s largest community college.

“The one thing for me was I didn’t want to stop school,” she says, “because when you stop, it’s going to be hard to go back.”

Link wasn’t playing soccer, but she kept up her relationship with the ball, often juggling on Mt. SAC’s fields — even after she was noticeably expecting. “Some people would be like, ‘I don’t think you should be doing that,’ but I just couldn’t stay away,” she says.

Long Beach State coach Mauricio Ingrassia, meantime, had noticed Link hadn’t shown up at UCI. He’d built Long Beach State into the Big West Conference’s top program — with four regular-season or tournament titles in the past five years — by pulling in very fine local players, most of whom had been overlooked or undervalued by the big powers. He liked Link and started looking for her.

“I kept calling her every couple of weeks to see where she was, and because we were really interested, and we couldn’t figure out where she was,” Ingrassia says. “So every few weeks, I would just try. I even showed up at her house one night, knocked on the door.”

He finally tracked her down, by phone, at the end of the college season. She was about eight months pregnant.

“I get a phone call from a 562 [area code] number,” she explains. “He goes, ‘Hey, this is Mauricio,’ and I was like, ‘Oh, hi.’ And he goes, ‘First question: Did you have a baby?’ ”

Ingrassia told her he wanted to talk to her if she had interest in playing soccer collegiately. “And I didn’t even think about that,” she says. “Because my focus was what I need to do for the future.”

Ingrassia wouldn’t leave it alone.

“Mauricio came to my house,” Nadia says, “and he was really pushing hard, saying: ‘If you really want to go back to school and play soccer, we can work something out.’ So he’s the one that really opened the door for me. That started it all, and here I am.”

Ingrassia offered a one-year scholarship, subject to renewal, and told her she would have three full-time jobs — student, soccer player and mother — and would have to regain her soccer fitness. He was blunt: “We want to see how you handle it.”

Adrianna had been delivered by C-section, and Link was instructed “no full activity” for six months. She put on a compression band and a girdle and began training after three months.

It was a grind. She was heavy and had lost a couple of steps, and although her touch remained, her confidence was shot.

Nadia found support among her teammates, most of whom couldn’t fathom what she’d been through, and played in 17 games in 2009, starting six of them. She didn’t score a goal and hadn’t passed a fitness test, and she would have to the following spring to keep her scholarship.

She worked out daily and was lighter and quicker when the team gathered together, and impressed during spring preparations. Her fitness test came the final day of sessions.

“It was surreal,” Ingrassia says. “She knew, because we’d talked about it: ‘You’ve got to get it done, for yourself and for your teammates.’ And it was one of the most amazing moments I’ve seen.”

The 49ers were running the brutal “beep” test, in which you must pass boundaries before the next “beep” sounds or drop out.

“Nadia is the last one standing,” Ingrassia says. “She’s just going, and we had a tunnel of kids just cheering her on. I still get goose bumps just thinking about it.

“Everyone’s screaming, ‘C’mon, Nadia! C’mon, Nadia!’ And she broke the program record for fitness. It was a great moment for us and a great moment for her. A statement.”

She was very good last fall, scoring a team-best eight goals and winning All-Big West accolades as the 49ers won the conference tournament and advanced to the NCAA tournament.

A BREAKTHROUGH

Link was good in 2010. She knew she could be better, so she spent the offseason working on her team-best fitness, then played for two amateur teams — the W-League’s Pali Blues and Women’s Professional Soccer League’s Los Al Vikings — to sharpen her game before reporting for preseason.

“I ran every day, played every day,” she says. “I really kicked it into high gear this summer, and I feel super fit. I feel like that’s the key to everything, just feeling fit.”

Ingrassia was pleased with what Nadia provided last year.

“We thought this turned out great,” he says, “and then all of a sudden she shows up this fall, and she’s picked up another step.”

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The explosiveness and confidence the offseason instilled took her game up a couple of notches, and foes have struggled to stop her. She has had a goal or assist in all but three games, linking with a strong attacking group — also starring midfield leader Shawna Gordon (Rancho Cucamonga/Los Osos HS) and prime striker Nicole Hubbard (Lakewood/Mayfair HS) — as Long Beach State romped to the top of the Big West Conference and into the national top 25.

The 49ers take a six-game winning streak into Big West games Friday night at Cal State Northridge and Sunday evening at UC Irvine.

Stationed on the right side of a three-woman frontline, so she can cut inside on her preferred left foot, Link has been a constant scorer and a superb provider, but it’s the class within her game — the precision of her runs, the magic in her feints, her ability to beat foes one-on-one, the knack for scoring extraordinary goals — that has most impressed.

“I think the difference is we’re playing better soccer than we’ve ever played,” Ingrassia says. “It’s not like ‘give it to Nadia and hope she can do something.’ The players we have, we’re moving the ball really well, using the entire width, using both sides. When it gets to Nadia, it’s not because that’s the game plan. It’s the flow of the game.”

Ingrassia loves her soccer acumen.

“She’s a student of the game,” he says. “We’ll talk about the Barcelona game or the Argentina game or Arsenal game or whatever, and she’s right there with you, like she’s one of the guys. … She watches soccer. That’s not common for a young female.”

He says a television was placed in the women’s soccer team’s locker room, “and I’m constantly telling the team: ‘This game, this game, this game — it better be on.’ Sometimes you walk in there, and they’re watching ‘Jersey Shore.’

“But Nadia can hold a conversation. ‘Did you see Rooney? Did you see Xavi? Did you see Cristiano?’ She gets it. And when it’s part of you, naturally you’re going to see so much, and you’re going to incorporate a thing or two. And you’re going to carry yourself a little different, because it’s in the culture.”

The national team has taken notice. She’s the Big West Player of the Year frontrunner and could make the All-America team. And Women’s Professional Soccer, should she put off her plans in nursing (and law), could be an option in another year and a half.

“Hopefully, people are going to take notice,” Ingrassia says. “She’s a fantastic soccer player, a great person, a fantastic leader.”

A FAMILY STORY

The turning point for the Link-Mendoza family — and for Nadia — was Jan. 18, 2009. Adrianna Rose Lopez was born at Pomona Valley Hospital in Pomona, checking in at 9 pounds and 20 inches.

All was forgiven and, mostly, forgotten.

“Once the baby got here,” Nadia says, “oh my God, they couldn’t resist.”

Said Nicholas Link: “When the baby came, it kind of unified us. It got us on the same page. … The baby is absolutely paramount to this family, and she always has been. So is Nadia. But the baby is first and foremost for us — she just brought us together.”

Unity was required if Nadia was going to succeed. When Ingrassia offered the scholarship, she sat down with her parents.

“I told them, ‘If we’re going to do this, I need all your support,’ ” she says. “ ‘I need you guys to go whole-heartedly with me. There are going to be times I won’t be able to watch her. It will demand a lot of me, and a lot of you guys, too.’

“My family, without hesitation: ‘Of course, go. We’ll do this. We’ll handle this. You go.’ ”

Nadia’s aunts, uncles and cousins share in the responsibility, and it is steep. Nadia primarily lives in Long Beach, with five teammates, has a brutal class schedule — nursing school is her aim, with plans for law school later on — and the life of a full-time college athlete is hectic.

The family brings Adrianna to all of her mother’s Southern California games, and Nadia gets to the San Gabriel Valley at every opportunity. She and Adrianna’s father parted shortly after the birth, but he’s also involved in her life, taking her one day each week.

“My family has been a big part of my success right now,” Nadia says. “It was hard during those times, you know, being on your own, but they really pulled through.”

Said Mendoza: “Now she’s really inspired, because of the baby. All of us are inspired. And the baby loves soccer, likes to kick the ball. Sometimes when she’s playing with her toys, she’ll ask me: ‘Grandma, I want my soccer ball.’ ”

Nadia kisses her tattoo with every goal.

“Plenty of times I wanted to give up,” she says. “One thing my parents instilled into me, you can’t quit. Every time I felt that, I thought I just have to keep going. As hard as it was just to take that next step forward, and when I get the strength, take my other foot and put it forward. One step at a time.”

There are, naturally, regrets. But things couldn’t have played out any better.

“I would do it all over again,” Nadia says. “I would live in a car again. I would bounce around … to see her now and where I am now and how close my family is, I wouldn’t trade anything for the world.”

Original Story: http://espn.go.com/blog/los-angeles/soccer/post/_/id/11487/nadia-links-journey-is-a-familys-reward

Isaiah 54:10

Sunday, October 16th, 2011

When your world is shaken, hold on to this: “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10

RELATIONSHIPS – New Beginnings Adoption & Family Services

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

International adoption data reveals a drastic decline in international adoptions over the past three years. Probable factors for this decline include the economic recession, regulations that sometimes delay the adoption process, and negative press that thrives on the few negative stories about adoption while ignoring the tens of thousands of positive ones.

How does New Beginnings survive and grow and during this period? Relationship building. New Beginnings co-founded the National Christian Adoption Fellowship (www.AdoptionFellowship.org) and we remain active and proud members of the National Council for Adoption (www.AdoptionCouncil.org). We also partner with other Hague accredited agencies agencies to provide services for countries such as Russia and China. These programs are in addition to our programs in Haiti, Poland and the Ukraine.

Domestic adoption continues to be a vital and active program for us and we look forward to possibly serving you should you choose to adopt or, for birthmothers, to make an adoption plan.

Thank you for choosing adoption and thank you for choosing New Beginnings. Visit us at www.NewBeginningsAdoptions.org or call us at 800-264-2229.

Tom Velie, President

Wrestling….

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Wrestling by: Melanie

I haven’t blogged lately because frankly, the stuff with which I’ve been wrestling is embarrassing to me. The last few weeks have brought some big decisions to our doorstep, and God has blessed us with clarity at every turn. I’m not even going to elaborate on the following, but we almost adopted a third child this week. We came to the brink of it, felt total peace about adding an infant into the crazy, but at the final moment, God was very clear that this particular situation was not for us. So grateful for God’s peace and clarity and discernment! We prayed for God to speak to us through wise counsel, and prayed over a list of our friends. The next morning, we called them one by one, and one by one, they told us the exact same thing. Beautiful unity. Got it. Hearing it loud and clear.

Out of this experience, we realized that we’re ready to start the process to adopt domestically, so we’re working on updating our paperwork and switching our home study from international to domestic. Excited. Loving our family with every fiber. Oh loving our family. Elliott pushing Evie on a riding toy while she laughs from her belly. Evie taking a bath with no tears. Elliott thanking God every night before bed for his sister. And even Elliott and Evie fighting all afternoon until I had to put myself in timeout! Yes, loving my family. Alex and I learning what quality time looks like in this new phase: listening to an Andy Stanley sermon on the iPhone while driving to the zoo, kids strapped into their carseats playing with toys while we drink coffee and chat about life. Stolen moments together. Beautiful and full and bursting with yummy life.

So what embarrassing thing have I been wrestling with that’s kept me away from my blog? When we thought about adopting a new baby (and ha, we thought we were done with babies and gave all of our baby stuff away!), we realized that our three bedroom home might not be “enough” and we started looking at a couple of bigger homes, where we wouldn’t have to make our closet into a baby’s room.

The last two years have been about stripping ourselves, worshipping with our giving, sloughing off the excess…and here we were, considering buying a bigger house. It makes me want to vomit a little. Really. How can I write about sponsorship and kids with nothing. How can I see kids from Adacar every time I close my eyes and think that our house in America can’t hold more children. Sigh.

Every time I spend a dollar, that tension is there. One of the people I admire most grew up in a mud hut with the distinction of having a metal roof. Another one didn’t own his first pair of shoes until he was eighteen. Godly men leading HopeChest in Uganda. They have taught me so much. They are pouring out their lives for the kingdom of God.

And I consider a bigger house. I know so many of us here in America wrestle with these decisions. And a little over two years ago, I probably wouldn’t have even wrestled. I would’ve just grabbed it. The baby that we almost adopted – Alex called the situation “low hanging fruit.” After the struggle to get Elliott, the struggle to get Evie, that we could reach out and adopt our next child that easily…it was tempting. Very tempting. But wrong for our family. And a bigger house. We could reach out and pluck that fruit. But would it be rotten? Would it fill our mouths with a bad taste and make our bodies sick?

I don’t know. I don’t think a bigger house is bad or evil or sinful. I really don’t. I love big homes teeming with children. Big homes mean lots of opportunities to serve the kingdom of God. But is a bigger house right for our family? Our old pastor said, “If there’s doubt, don’t.” I have lots of doubt. I wrestle. My four trips to Africa have ruined me. Gloriously ruined me. Broken my old mindset apart, shattered my ideas of belongings and families and what makes God smile.

Looking at bigger homes has actually made me fall more and more and more in love with the home I have. I’ve realized how content I am right here, right now. No matter how low the interest rates are right now, I want to bask in the contentment of now.

My biggest fear is becoming so comfortable here that I become irrelevant for the kingdom. Every day my life teeters on that precipice, a latte here, a new sweater there, dinner at a nice restaurant…and I feel kids around the world whispering remember, remember, remember me. Finding the balance. Being IN my world in America, but not OF my world.

So I wrestle. I do drink a latte. I decide NOT to buy a sweater. Every decision, every dollar. Think. Remember. In America, we have so much food that we have to diet and workout. In America, we have such big houses that we have to decide to reorganize rather than relocate. I realized that my house seems crowded because I have so much furniture. Too much furniture. And Bosco’s mom offered me her only chair. Tears. Lord give me eyes to see, ears to hear Your will, Your heart.

I love pretty things. I love decorating and adorning and change and new. But I love God more. And He is refining me and teaching me contentment. We have so much. We have SO MUCH. In a bigger house, I might miss the sound of my children’s laughter. In a bigger house, I might miss an opportunity to teach about sharing. In a bigger house, I might miss the call to GO, to visit the widow and orphan, to continue building those relationships, because I’m too comfortable, or I can’t afford to anymore.

Just trying to live for God, point our resources where He wants them. Houses are resources and many people use their houses for His glory. And I’m blessed by those people. What does He want for OUR resources? Because they’re His, and we’re just fallible stewards.

So, I wish I could claim to be someone who shops only secondhand and doesn’t own a TV and gives every penny to orphans in need, but I’m a mom and wife who wrestles. We’re doing shopping differently, we’re doing presents differently, but we have a long way to go. So I think about every dollar. God, help me to glorify You with my choices. So many good ones. Help me to discern what’s best.

This morning in church Reggie Joiner said, “Families don’t need a better picture; they need a bigger story.” Yes! I want our family’s story to be HUGE! I don’t know what that means yet, so I’ll just trust God with each decision and keep on wrestling.

Original Link: http://www.wakinggiants.com/adoption/wrestling/

‘Adopted’ Steve Jobs to inspire Indian adoption agency campaigns

Monday, October 10th, 2011

‘Adopted’ Steve Jobs to inspire Indian adoption agency campaigns

By: Vinod Kumar Menon

City adoption agencies hope to leverage the outpouring of admiration in the wake of the death of Apple CEO and adopted child, Steve Jobs, to encourage childless couples to adopt

Adoption centers in Mumbai are hoping to leverage the huge publicity surrounding Apple co-founder Steve Jobs’ death to encourage more people to adopt. This, since the American tech genius was himself an adopted child, a fact that lent the inspirational story of Jobs even more weight and intrigue.

City adoption centers are going to peg their campaigns on the premise — ‘your adopted child could turn out to be a Steve Jobs too’. With awareness about his accomplishments and interest at an all-time high following his death, adoption centers believe it is the right time to design an apt Steve Jobs-centric campaign to target couples that want to adopt.

State Minister for Women and Child Development Varsha Gaikwad is keen to introduce the success story of Steve Jobs in their future promotional adoption campaigns. “Such successful case-studies or faces will be used for the promotional campaign to encourage adoption. We also want to make a case for the adoption of kids in the age group of two to six years, apart from infants.”

Dr Vinita Bhargav, professor of sociology Delhi University, admits that case studies of people like Jobs will be useful in spreading the right message. “The need of the hour is not to promote adoption but to encourage childless couples to adopt children in the age group of 2 years and above, who are mostly neglected,” she said.
She added, “Of course, in most cases of adoption, the probable parents want to know as much as they can about the child’s background, which can empower them to make a decision. But adoptive parents must realize that it is the child, after all, who decides his/her destiny. They can only provide a better environment for the child.”

Harsha Sheth, a social worker at the Chembur center of the Bal Anand World Children Welfare Trust, shared similar views. “The success stories of adopted children like Jobs and others will surely encourage more childless couples to give adoption a second thought.”

At present, the center has 10 to 11 children available for adoption, while 20 couples are on the wait list. She shares that most couples want to adopt infants aged between two months to a year, as it is believed that a child that young can adjust easily to its new parents. The waiting period post the date of registration usually lasts up to a year, so that all legal formalities and verifications can be completed before the child is officially handed over to the parents.

According to adoption statistics available with Central Adoption Resource Authority (see box), in 2010, a total of 6,286 children were adopted, as against 2,518 adopted in 2009, across India.

Social workers at the Indian Council of Social Welfare (ICSW), Fort, explained to Sunday MiD DAY that there are two kinds of legal adoption options: in-country (within India) and inter-country adoption (outside India).

According to their statistics, in the past five years, 6,771 children were adopted, of which 2,301 male and 2,692 female children were adopted within India while NRI/foreigners adopted 647 male and 1,131 female children.

The official at ICSW added, “The number of female children adopted is usually higher than males, which confirms the fact that a higher percentage of female children are being abandoned in the state as compared to boys. Apart from the stigma of being an unwed mother, poverty and the inability to feed more than two children have also become reasons for disowning a child.”

The maximum number of adoptive parents who come to India looking for a child are from Italy, Denmark, USA, UK and Norway, while a slow growth is being witnessed in the number of prospective parents coming from Switzerland, Belgium and Sweden.

Who can Adopt?
According to the Juvenile Justice (Care & Protection of Children) Act 2000 as amended from time to time, the court may allow a child to be given in adoption:
to a person irrespective of marital status; or
to parents to adopt a child of the same sex irrespective of the number of living biological sons or daughters, or
to a childless couple

Additional Eligibility Criteria:
>Two years of stable relationship in case Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAP) are married.

>To adopt children in the age group of 0-3 years, the maximum composite age of the PAPs should be 90 years wherein the individual age of the PAPs should not be less than 25 years and more than 50 years.

>To adopt children above three years of age, the maximum composite age of the PAPs should be 105 years wherein the individual age of the PAPs should not be less than 25 years and more than 55 years.

>A single PAP desiring to adopt should not be less than 30 and more than 50. The maximum age shall be 40 years to adopt children in the age group of 0-3 years and 50 years for adopting children above 3 years.

>PAPs should have adequate financial resources to provide a good upbringing to the child.

>PAPs should have good health and should not suffer from any contagious or terminal disease or any such mental or physical condition, which may prevent them from taking care of the child.

>A second adoption is permissible only when the legal adoption of the first child has been finalised.

>Single male is not permitted to adopt a girl child.

To keep in mind if you plan to adopt an older kid
Do not overwhelm the child.

Have patience, do not expect your new child to adjust to your family instantly.

Be aware of food issues.

Night fears are common.

Expect that simple things may be new to them, and confusing.

Don’t try and force affection.

Keep to a routine.

Do not expect or demand gratitude.

Talking to other adoptive parents can be of assistance.

Original Story: http://www.mid-day.com/news/2011/oct/091011-The-apple-of-your-i.htm

Endure Patiently

Monday, October 10th, 2011

You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.

Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart.

Jeremiah 31:25; Philippians 2:14-15

You are a child of the universe

Sunday, September 18th, 2011

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Max Ehrmann – Desiderata

Statistics

Sunday, September 18th, 2011

Recent statistics say there are more than 143 million orphans worldwide, including 115,000 waiting children right here in the U.S; I’m not okay with that, are you?

I invite you to spend a little time reading some inspiring adoption stories, please share them with your friends and loved ones!

~ Blogger Martha