Pregnancy and Adoption Resources

We hear of adoptive couples who want to add to their families through international adoption.  And some of us think its great and a wonderful thing.  We encourage them and help them and then love their children once they come home.  And then some of us don’t think it’s such a good thing.  If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone ask the question, “Why do people adopt kids from overseas when there are so many kids here who need homes?”…then I’d be rich.  I see a need to tell people why.

There are children in the U.S. that need homes, true.  There are approximately 600,000 children in the U.S. foster care system currently, and by and large, most of these children aren’t readily available for adoption.  Most of the children that are adoptable are older and adopting an older child is not always the best option for some families (depending on the family dynamics).  As far as infants in the U.S., there are families upon families waiting to adopt an infant.  Internationally, there are approximately 143 million orphans in the world, a great number of which are in orphanages in third world countries.  For those children that aren’t adopted, the statistics for those that end up in prison, prostitution, committing suicide, etc. are pretty disheartening.  The fact of the matter is, there is a great need for adoptive families of children worldwide.  It is not a selfish thing to pursue adoption of a child internationally.  It’s a way to meet a desire for a family to have a child, as well as meeting a desperate need for a child.  In international adoption, there are millions of children waiting on families.  For most domestic adoptions (aside from foster care) there are families waiting on children.

One argument of those against international adoption is that we need to focus on our own country’s people and problems.  Yes, America has it’s own problems.  We have people living in poverty.  We have children in need.  Our government is not perfect.  And we are Americans, so we have the responsibility to be faithful to our country and to help our fellow citizens in any way possible.  But let us not forget that we are also humans.  And so is the rest of the world population.  Including the children sitting in orphanages right now who, apart from adoption, have a pretty bleak future.  America, as such a rich and blessed nation in comparison to so many others, is in a prime position to help these children.  There are 26,000 children who die each day from starvation or preventable diseases, many of which are orphans.  I can’t ignore that statistic.  I love my country very much and I love the children in my country and will do anything I can to ensure that they are being advocated for and cared for.  But I also love the human race…and I can’t ignore the need for adoption among so many children in other parts of the world.  And quite frankly, most of the people I hear downing those who adopt internationally instead of domestically aren’t doing anything to help the plight of children in need in America.

I’m an advocate for adoption and children.  I love both.  And I think that it’s imperative that people be aware of the facts about both.  I encourage people to do their research before making blanket statements about why people should adopt domestically instead of internationally.  If you’d like to live in ignorance of the needs of children, not only in America, but worldwide, then go ahead and pretend the problems don’t exist.  Pretend that 26,000 lives aren’t lost daily…lives that had barely begun to live and lives that could have been saved.  Pretend that you’re only American and not human, so its okay to only help Americans and not the rest of the human race.  Pretend that a child is less worthy of love and care just because he or she was born in a third world country instead of America.  Pretend that if we ignore these problems that they’ll go away.  Or better yet, say they’re someone else’s problems.  If you don’t want to be a part of the solution, then that’s your choice.  But whatever you do, please don’t belittle those people who are choosing to be a part of the solution by, not just supporting orphans financially or praying for them or visiting them, but who are taking them into their homes to love and cherish as their own child.  And not simply for the sake of rescuing them in and of itself, but because they want these children…they want them.  If a child is born in Tennessee or Tanzania, Mississippi or Mongolia, a child is a child is a child.  Please don’t speak out against those who want these orphans.  Speak out on behalf of the orphan instead.

Families who have been matched with children in Nepal (approximately 80) are waiting indefinitely for the Embassy to process their cases in hopes that their children will be able to be united with them soon.  However, there is no guarantee this will happen for these families, and sadly, for these children.  For many of the children, adoption might be their big chance to escape the life of growing up in an orphanage and then having to learn to care for and provide for themselves once they become too old to live in the orphanage (mid-teenage age).  We are asking for prayer on behalf of these children and adoptive families.  What is impossible with man is possible with God.

     A very young child is abandoned by his or her parents. Why? Perhaps they have several other children and there is no room for one more child in their home. Perhaps a young mother living in poverty believes that by sacrificing her own emotions, her baby will at least receive food and protection…and will not become another statistic on the street.

     The child is placed into an orphanage that sustains itself on small donations and the goodness of others. The donors feel good about their giving, and the young child is fed, clothed and cared for with “the hope” that something better will happen in life.

     What is the end result when individuals, systems and governments forget that a child’s sense of time is so much different than an adults sense of time? To a seven year old child, seven years is a lifetime. What does it feel like to reach the age of fourteen and to have never met your parents? What does it feel like to reach those teenage years…the years when social relationships, soccer games, and parties are the norm to some of us…and to know that you’ll soon be living on the street and begging…or selling yourself…to live? Can you imagine the feelings? I can’t.

     International adoption offers hope to the children. Yes, there area handful of tragic stories related to international adoption that instantly become fodder for news organizations. Yet all the while, the same organizations ignore the hundreds of thousands of children whose lives have been forever changed for the good by international adoption. These children have more than hope…they have success…they have moms and dads…they have children of their own…they have fulfilling jobs…and some return the favor to the children who are left behind.

     But why are they left behind? When there are hundreds of thousands (actually, the number is estimated at 139 million) orphans in the world, and when birth parents are not searching for them, and when no one really cares about them, then why do the systems and governments seem so determined to forever incarcerate the children in the grave of hopelessness? Is is so someone can continue raising funds to “support the homeless?” Is it so some huge, worldwide non-profit organization can portray itself as the savior of the masses of children from trafficking. Yes, trafficking is the word sometimes used to portray adoption agencies and adoptive parents as the vultures who will swoop in to prey on the innocent.

    But who is actually “preying” on the innocent? Who is shutting down the systems and providing nothing but a future of hopelessness to orphans around the world.

     Please call your U.S. Senators and Representatives and ask “Why are the numbers of children being adopted internationally dropping so rapidly? And…what are you going to do about it?”

     The link (very short article) highlights the long-term problem with children being left in orphanages in Nepal. Nepali children “age out” of the orphanages around 14 years of age and many are prostituted in some form. I haven’t heard the 20,000 figure related to the number of girls involved in the sex trade in Kathmandu, but I do know that the men on our last trip to Nepal were offered that type of thing many times each day.

http://www.cathnewsindia.com/2010/09/06/sex-trafficking-in-nepal-drags-in-more-victims/